Confession No. 9

I never edit my papers. Once I do a spell and grammar check, I don't read through it again to check for fluidity or errors.

Confessions No. 8

I don't know how to make friends. I am sort of a social bum.

At the End of Fourteen Days

Coming back after two weeks at home was an easier transition than I had expected. I, surprisingly, was ready to return to college life and to take a full dose this time. While at home I had a lame open house which none of my friends could attend hardly on account of them having already left to their various institutions of higher learning or on their excursions across the globe. On top of that, the friends I thought I had in high school were altogether less appealing to be around, still stuck on old drama that suddenly seemed so petty and obnoxious. I never imagined settling into a bare dorm room would be so comforting, but it was.

It wasn't long before kids from summer term scouted me out in an excited tizzy to see how much I changed over fourteen days. It was as if we were old women being reunited after years of living separate lives and never being able to catch up. We all had so much to share, because when you're 18 and recreating yourself, you have a lot of history to share, withhold and stretch. My girls from the summer and my new roommate Amber sat in my room with boxes of Dominoes Pizza and pillows strewn across the floor. A lot had happened over 14 days. Break-ups and make-ups, romances and tragedies. Joy was telling us about how her life long love betrayed her with some sophomore, and how she decided not to make him the goal in college. Lynn vented about her and her bf's roller coaster relationship. Marlena and I just listened intently, not having any recent and relevant experiences to contribute. Amber held her tongue and refrained from bragging about her spicy relationship with her boyfriend in this conversation and just listened, fascinated by all the tales.

At the end of a long night of unpacking and catching up, we decided to start our fall of with determination. There was still a few days before classes started for us to get our foot in the door. There was a Sigma party coming up the next night, the livest party of the semester, the night to remember, the perfect place to meet new people to erase the eyesores in our minds from past relationship fails. We knew that this party was going to be a milestone for all of us, and we had to be prepared.

Confessions No. 7

Sometimes I walk across campus with my headphones in and pretend to be listening to music, but I'm really just listening to everything around me and absorbing the day's beauty.

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old...

Midway through the summer term, and I was still hanging out with my faithful few. Lamenting the loss of Michael Jackson still, I spent most of my afternoons in the park or at the gym listening to my favorite MJ hits. I'll admit this probably was not a healthy pattern, but at least I got a good cardio workout if I wasn't going to be social. Making friends seemed like so much work at the time, and even more so just plain AWKWARD. ("Awkward" is an awkward word to say and spell...how befitting.) I had spotted out a few people that I could probably be really good friends with, as they reminded me of all of the things I liked about my high school friends, but I still had them, in theory, so I didn't need duplicates. The only person that was just completely new to me, that I could tolerate in large doses, was this kid named Chris. He was pretty nerdy, but not socially awkward or obnoxious. One of the few males in the entire building that summer who's ego was small enough to fit through the front door.

We first met the first week of the semester on a tour of the campus and the media resources (a completely useless trip because 98% of us would never use it and the other 2% of us that did had to go on separate tours of the facilities later in our careers at the University.) This was a superficial meeting, however, where everyone goes around and just pretends to be best friends because we all are trying to convince ourselves that we have to in order to survive. It wasn't until the last two weeks of the semester that we actually had a real conversation. And this marked my first new friend since the week I moved into campus. The end of the semester was a joke. Our exams were mindless and everyone passed with flying colors. I will say that when we all moved out for the two weeks between the summer and fall semesters, I actually missed a few people. Progress? I think so.

Confessions No. 6

I sing in the shower not because I am happy but because I want to be.

Confessions No. 5

Me encanta bailar y cantar cuando nadie está mirando.